Archive - Betches News

Your complete SCOTUS breakdown!

Let's get into it.

20 hrs ago •

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Are reproductive rights worse in 2025? We’re breaking down post-Roe v. Wade America

[Insert “The Handmaid’s Tale is real joke” I wish I didn’t have to keep making!!]

Jun 26 •

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We’re breaking down the NYC Democratic mayoral primary!

Andrew Cuomo brought the weather from his home in hell with him to NYC and lost his big race on the hottest day of the year.

Jun 25 •

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Trump en route to “Regina George” his way through the 2025 NATO Summit

I can’t wait to see how he spins eating alone in the bathroom during their lunch break!

Jun 24 •

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Is congressional approval still a thing anymore? Asking for a friend.

“Precedented” times have finally arrived…and no, we don’t mean iPod minis and Viva la Juicy perfume are “in” again, unfortunately.

Jun 23 •

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Trump continues f-boy antics in his situationship with WWIII

I’m already done overanalyzing texts from my avoidant summer fling, I don’t need to spend summer doing the same for the president!

Jun 20 •

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Trump at full-blown war with…Tulsi Gabbard??

Can somebody get him to put the self-tanner down and focus, please!

Jun 18 •

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Will the US recover from embarrassment after Trump’s antics at the G7 summit?

I know he would love to be exiled from the summit to hang out with his BF Vlad, but he can put in for PTO if he wants time off like the rest of us!

Jun 17 •

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We paid how much for Trump's sad b-day parade?

It isn’t a popularity contest, but I think the No Kings protest won this weekend, hands down!

Jun 16 •

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World War III summer is here!

Can we go back to when our only plight was fighting fascism in America again? I’m tired!

Jun 13 •

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LA riots: Will Newsom and Trump’s situationship survive federal court?

We can’t wait for the Les Mis/Trumps edits that are for sure cooking in phones across America to hit our feeds today!

Jun 12 •

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Musk and Trump update their relationship status to “its complicated”

And Trump side chick Gavin Newsom declares they’re never getting back together…like ever

Jun 11 •

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