Trump continues f-boy antics in his situationship with WWIII

I’m already done overanalyzing texts from my avoidant summer fling, I don’t need to spend summer doing the same for the president!

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Jun 20, 2025

Two Weeks Notice

To no one’s shock, President Donald Trump didn’t really do much to honor Juneteenth. In fact, I doubt he noticed, which is for the best since it’s a holiday he’d probably like to replace with Melania Day or something. But while he was ignoring the holiday, the rest of the world was paying way too much attention to him. Like, more than usual, which is already excessive. Why? Because we’re waiting with bated breath to find out if the US is going to get involved in Israel’s bombing campaign in Iran. Yesterday, Trump gave some indication of where his head’s at, so we’ll unfortunately have to dissect his psyche. Also in today’s newsletter: SCOTUS’ war on trans kids, Karen Read walks free, a bling-ring sitch in LA, updates on the protests, the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, and more. At least it’s the weekend?

Trump’s taking his time

Let’s start with the question on everyone’s mind: wtf is going on with Iran? For the past week, Israel and Iran have been bombing each other. On their own, Israel has already taken out a number of key Iranian leaders. Ostensibly, the goal of their bombings is to destroy Iran’s nuclear facilities, but there are open questions about whether Israel or the US also wants to topple Iran’s current regime, which could lead to a much bigger conflict. There are also questions about whether Israel can achieve their goals unilaterally, or if it needs US support.

And so, the question becomes: will we get involved? Trump, a man who never should have left his job as a Reality TV host (for all our sakes), has decided to milk the thrill of this decision. About, like, killing people. Yesterday, after incessant pestering from those annoying “journalists,” the White House said POTUS is expected to let us know within the next two weeks whether the US is going to take direct military action against Iran. Why do they sound like me telling my landlord when I’ll decide if I’m renewing my lease?? I am, but I’m hoping that if I seem indecisive, he won’t raise my rent.

If Trump does bomb Iran, he’s expected to attack Fordo, a nuclear enrichment site. Trump and his allies have defended this potential bombing under the pretense that Iran is close to acquiring a nuclear weapon, which is a hotly debated topic. But let’s say Trump does bomb Fordo. Are we at war? Maybe, but not necessarily. According to former US special envoy to the Middle East Dennis Ross: “If the president said our strike is only about the threshold Iranian nuclear weapons capability and the U.S. will hit no other sites, the war might be contained.” But others disagree. According to Ray Takeyh, senior fellow at the Council on Foreign Relations, “The important point for the Trump administration to recognize is that bombing Fordo will not be the final salvo in this conflict.” All of which is to say: no one knows what’s going to happen next. Hopefully, Pete Hegseth will leak some more group chats so we can find out. Read more.

SCOTUS continues to bully trans kids

Yet again, it was a mistake to let Pride Month overlap with SCOTUS decision season. On Wednesday, SCOTUS upheld a Tennessee law banning gender-affirming care for minors. In a 6-3 decision that broke along ideological lines, the justices upheld a Tennessee law that bans puberty blockers and hormone treatments for trans minors. In the majority opinion, Roberts basically said the law doesn’t violate the Constitution's equal protection clause because there are still open scientific questions about the efficacy of the treatments, as though SCOTUS has ever cared about scientific evidence before (last time I checked, they were all experts on AK-47s??). As Justice Sotomayor wrote in the opinion, which she read aloud, love that energy – “By retreating from meaningful judicial review exactly where it matters most, the court abandons transgender children and their families to political whims. In sadness, I dissent.” We’re a new level of fucked when the liberal justices are just like “I’m bummed.”

What does this mean? The ruling pertains to Tennessee, but its implications are far-reaching. For example, it makes it harder to bring legal challenges against all bans on care for trans minors. And it means that families seeking care for their children may need to travel farther and farther to find it. AND it represents yet another attack on the trans population, after SCOTUS upheld Trump’s ban on military servicemembers. So this doesn’t bode well for future cases they may be asked to rule on, such as those on trans girls in sports and passport markers. My only cold comfort in all of this is that even though Nancy Mace may have temporarily been in a good mood following the decision, she’s still a miserable person. Read more.

“A new study found that weed can dramatically increase the chances of dying from a heart attack. Huge loss overall, but huge victory for those of us prone to marijuana-induced panic attacks. We’ve been vindicated.”

Karen Read’s drama comes to a close

There’s no prestige HBO miniseries dominating our Sunday nights right now, so real life will have to do. Fortunately, Karen Read has delivered. Backstory (aka “Previously On”): Karen Read is a Boston woman accused of hitting her police officer boyfriend with her car in 2022, then leaving him to die in the snow. She was charged with several crimes, including second-degree murder. Last year, the first trial against her ended in a mistrial because of a “starkly hung jury” (cue Samantha Jones).

So, the stage was set for a dramatic trial. And the team delivered. During the trial, Read’s lawyers argued that her boyfriend, John O’Keefe, was bitten by a dog and then left to die in the snow. And that afterwards, Read was framed as part of a police conspiracy plot. Shocking that that somehow seemed like the more likely story, but this isn’t TV – it’s HBO. And it worked! On Wednesday, Read was found not guilty of second-degree murder, manslaughter while operating under the influence, and leaving the scene of an accident causing injury or death. In fact, she was only found guilty of the misdemeanor charge of operating under the influence, which comes with a sentence of one year's probation. Unfortunately, the ending doesn’t really set us up for a Season 2, but neither did Big Little Lies, and they found a way. Read more.

ON OUR RADAR

JD Vance joined Bluesky just to troll the libs. May I remind you that this man is the literal Vice President? He was quickly suspended.
Seven men in SoCal have been charged with stealing $100 million of jewelry, which some are calling the “largest jewelry heist in history.” Aw it’s like the Bling Ring but for adult men. Maybe the solution to the male loneliness epidemic?
An appeals court is allowing Trump to continue controlling the ~4,000 National Guard troops in LA. Sorry, but doesn’t he have new wars to worry about?
New Elon Musk alert? Pavel Durov, the founder of Telegram, says he’ll leave his $17 billion fortune to his 106 children. With that many children, is he really keeping close track of who they all are? I’m just saying…I think I have the same chin as he does…
The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders got a 400% pay raise, get itttt ladies.
Apparently, Bea Arthur called Betty White a “cunt” a bunch on the set of Golden Girls. This is exactly the tea I need to start the weekend.
Congrats @BonerWizard! Thank you for your service.

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